Remembering Hawks
An elegy to Ryan Hawks 10 years after his passing
I remember the first time I met him. I vividly recall hearing his laugh and seeing his face for the first time. He hugged me straight away.
(As I write these sentences I laugh. It sounds like the first scene of a rom-com script. But, this is a love story. I loved him...)
Before I share a few memories of Ryan Hawks on March 1, 2021, 10 years to the day after he passed, I want to send love to those who were much closer to Ryan Hawks than I: Alicia, Peter and Jackie, Samantha, Angel, Lars, Silas, and many more. I appreciate these people for keeping his memory going through the Flyin Ryan Foundation, among other things. Ryan Hawks was one of the most amazing people I have ever met.
It was my first international “work trip.” We went down to Chile in August of 2010. I was there to write a few stories for Powder.com (this one and this one). After the Chilean Freeskiing Championships we were scheduled to go to Ski Portillo with a small group to ski, make content and dance in the discoteque. Like I said, it was a work trip.
We climbed up through the SLC-esque inversion layer to El Colorado, Chile. We checked in at the rustic hostel named Blue Tambo at the base of Farellones. Before leaving America, I was given one name to ask for: Ryan Hawks.
Traveling to go skiing in August is a trip. You swap flip flops up north for ski boots in the south. You schlep ski bags, Gore-Tex layers and tons of gear through the airport in Texas, sweating and swearing through the terminal. Then, you land in winter in the southern hemisphere, hear Spanish, eat empanadas during a layover and see the Andes for the first time through the airplane window cloaked in snow.
As we were checking into the hostel and unloading our gear into the bunk rooms, I kept hearing a contagious laugh coming from someone speaking English and trying to communicate in Spanish. The laugh was joyous, full of energy and oozing empathy. I rounded a corner to see the person responsible for the laugh playing a card game in the common room. He was tall, handsome, excited and eager to chat. I asked the players of the card game if anyone knew Ryan Hawks, and the laugher stood up and gave me a hug. It was Hawks.
The next week was spent exploring the Andes with an international crew of big-mountain skiers. The roster was deep. It included:
Ryan Hawks
Connery Lundin
Griffin Post
Angel Collinson
Drew Tabke
Jess McMillan
Robin McElroy
Yu Sasaki
Lars Chickering-Ayers
Jackie Paaso
We spun laps on the t-bar linking Farellones and El Colorado, two adjacent ski resorts above Santiago. I couldn’t keep up as we wove through Chilean rock formations and couloirs. We inspected the backcountry venue named Santa Teresa by hitchhiking back to Farellones. Rinse and repeat.
Through the entire experience, I hung with Hawks. He introduced me to his crew, he showed me how to ski, he coached me through no-fall zones without any pretense.
I remember one experience from that first week of our burgeoning friendship more clearly than anything else. Sitting on bean bags at the base of the Santa Teresa comp venue, Ryan and I watched. Chuck Mumford skied out of the start gate and directly into out-of-bounds terrain, immediately disqualifying himself to ski a consequential couloir because, “I knew I had to ski it as soon as I saw it.” We watched Connery Lundin and Yu Sasaki ski similar multi-stage lines on the looker’s left side of the venue. Both Connery and Yu skied without hesitation, linking large airs and causing a crescendo in cheers from the crowd as their respective lines got more intense. We watched Jess McMillan navigate “The Maze” with ease—a prominent buttress of rock in the middle of the venue that required meticulous knowledge of the line.
During the comp, I jotted down notes, interviewed athletes and snapped pictures for my recap to be published by Powder. The whole time I sat next to Hawks. And, the whole time Hawks talked quietly about Angel Collinson. She was bouncing around the base of the venue and Ryan couldn’t peel his eyes off of her. He was enamored. Later, during our time in Portillo, Hawks talked incessantly about Angel.
He couldn’t shake Angel.
Fast forward to the winter of 2011 and I met Ryan, Angel and others in Revelstoke for another “work trip” to cover the Subaru Canadian Freeskiing Championships for Powder. In the time between Chile in August and British Columbia in January, Ryan had asked Angel out. They were smitten. We skied the Selkirks, swam at the rec center pool with more than 100 other international skiers, did donuts in a frozen parking lot with the decked-out van Lars, Silas Chickering-Ayer and Hawks lived in through the winter. We all fell in love with Revy, it still felt underground.
Time shared while traveling with amazing people is like pouring gasoline on friendships’ fire. Ryan and I only spent a few months of cumulative time together. However, the experiences are unforgettable, and the connection belied the time spent.
Some things I remember with Ryan…
A white-tablecloth dinner in Portillo the day we all skied Super C for the first time.
A mind-blowing bout of food poisoning on the bunk above Ryan in some sketchy Santiago barrio.
Getting Ryan’s text when he said, “I’m in love with Angel.”
The Maple syrup figurines sent from Vermont with a handwritten note. Apparently, to Ryan the silly little maple-syrup guy and gal represented Brie and I. He was excited to introduce us to proper maple syrup when we could finally visit his hometown in the Green Mountains.
The phone call from Kirkwood notifying me of an accident.
48 hours of prayers sent to the Reno hospital.
The uncontrollable grief that knocked me out of my cubicle when I heard from from a friend that “he didn’t make it….”
Those crumbling maple syrup figurines still sit in my bedside table in their original boxes, momentos from cherished moments with a late friend.
10 years ago we lost Ryan Hawks. One of the most amazing people I've ever met.
Today, a decade after Ryan’s passing, I felt Hawks’ energy and spirit while skiing. I went to ski a pre-work lap and scream his name towards the Elk Mountains as loud as I could. This morning was cold. There’s no new snow in the immediate forecast. But, skies were blue and the skiing was fun.
Tonight, I will talk to my boys about Ryan Hawks before I put them down. And, I'll continue to talk about Hawks as long as I'm a skier (forever).
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For more information about Ryan Hawks, please visit flyinryanhawks.org. The Flyin Ryan Hawks Foundation is a non-profit endeavor inspired by the life of Ryan Hawks. The foundation was founded in April of 2011 after Ryan, a well-known and widely respected extreme skier, passed away from injuries sustained during a Freeskiing World Tour event in Kirkwood, CA. To honor his legacy as a person, his family set up a non-profit foundation called the Flyin Ryan Hawks Foundation.
Lastly, check this out (taken directly from the Flyin Ryan website):
"Not long after his death, the following list was discovered on Ryan’s computer. These Core Values reflect the way he lived his life; they were his guiding principles for decision making, relationships and all aspects of his life.
“Ryan’s Core Values statement provided much of the inspiration that drives the mission of the Flyin Ryan Hawks Foundation to help people discover and enumerate their own core values. These are the values by which he lived:
Live every day, all day
Never stop exploring life
Never lose my adventuresome spirit
Be the best friend I can be
Be the best brother, son, uncle I can be
Play like I am 13
Look out for others
Look out for myself
Look out for our surroundings
Be self-sufficient
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Work hard
Live easy
Live simply”